Not So Ouran
by 3.1415927
Summary: Nikki and Ronnie, exchange students from France, are not so Ouran. The Host Club interferes, as always. In this crazy school, can they actually find love? How can they possibly live through the insanity to find out?
1. Chapter 1

_**Welcome to this, my attempt at an Ouran fic. And c'mon, it's fanfiction. Mary Sues are insured. Please enjoy!**_

_**I don't own anything, 'cept my characters of course.c:**_

It was the first day of school and I, Nicole "Nikki" Chamberlain, was already lost. And of course, none of the snobby rich kids at Ouran Academy would help me.

Maybe they were scared of me, which seemed a very plausible theory.

I had strolled into school that morning in what I thought was usual attire, but had soon discovered a strict dress code.

In lime green skinny jeans, a black off the shoulder shirt, and black Vans, I figured I looked damn good. Bright green spike earings and a silver ring in my left helix piercing, black eyeliner, and a silver wrist cuff topped off the outfit. My dyed-black hair with white streaks hung straightened around my face. On my back was Charlie, my electric blue electric guitar.

I had just moved from France per request of about seven teachers and my parents. Apparently, I "disturbed the peace". I roll my light blue eyes at the very thought of those schmucks. Who needs them anyways?

Looking down at the hurriedly written note from my best friend Ronnie, I sigh. The clutz had smudged the number after "Music Room" into an indistinguishable mess.

I caught the eye of a pair of twins with fire-red hair. "Um, excuse me?" I began. "Gingers? Please don't eat my soul, but I need help."

They narrow their eyes. "For your information, we have souls. We're Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin, by the way," they say in perfect harmony.

"Yeah yeah, just tell me where to go. I'm Nikki." They take the note from me, and a mischievous grin grows in unison.

"That's Music Room Three. We were just heading there ourselves. Why don't you accompany us?"

The twins were seriously starting to freak me out. "Sure, just let me find my friend, Ronnie."

As if on cue, I spot my friend careening down the hall, screaming,"NIKKI HONEY I WAS SO WORRIED!" She dives and tackles me to the ground.

I shove her off, saying gruffly, "Calm your tits." We glance at each other, and hug anyways.

"Who are the soulless gingers?" She whisper yells.

"Hikaru and Kaoru, and they scare the shit outta me."

"We're right here!" They shout. "There's something different about you girls, and it's not just your looks. Something not so Ouran. Now come with us to the Music Room."

Huffing, Ronnie says, "Why are we going there? I had reserved Room Five so that Nikki could practice." She points at the electric guitar strapped to my back.

"We have candy."

Sadly, that's all it took for me and Ronnie to follow them like puppies.

If only we knew that those gingers had in store for us.

**_Hope you like it! New chappy should be up soon. Please review!c:_**

**_-3.1415927_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**New chappy! I don't own anything except Nikki and Ronnie. **_

"Are we there yet?" It was the umpteenth time Ronnie had asked, and we had been walking for five minutes.

"We'll get there when we get there!" The one named Kaoru was getting super mad at us.

"I'm tiiired," Ronnie continues to whine.

I hit her in the arm, saying, "You were the best track runner hack at home, I think you can handle a little walk."

She giggles at me and skips down the hallway ahead of us. Laughing, I jog after her.

I turn the corner, and run into what feels like a brick wall. Looking up I see that it's a guy. A hot guy. A very, very hot guy.

"Holy sh...I mean, I'm Nikki." I stutter out. He outstretches his hand to me, but I just stare at it. The moment is starting to get awkward.

Ronnie comes into view behind the stranger. She runs past us before realizing that I'm sprawled on the floor.

She takes a few steps backwards and picks me up. "Who's your friend?" Ronnie asks with a wink, twiddling her bottle-purple hair.

"I'm not entirely sure." I brush myself off.

"I'm Mori."

"Well, Mori, I can tell you that I want to rip off your-" Thankfully, a little boy comes bounding around the corner, cutting off whatever Ronnie was going to say.

"Takashi! I thought I had lost you!" The kid wails. "Who are the girls? Customers? Hello, ladies! I'm Mitsukuni Haninozuka, but please call me Hunny!" He bows to add effect.

Ronnie and I blink. How old was this kid? "'What do you mean, 'customers?' If you guys are prostitutes, I swear, I don't want any part of it."

Before the boys can react, she steps in. "I'm Ronnie."

"Would you girls care to accompany us to Music Room Three? Maybe there we can explain further."

We snort in response, saying, "The Hitachiin twins already got to us." Wait...

"Candy!" We screech.

We bolt in the direction of Room Three, only for both of us to collide with more people. This time, I had landed on top of a kid with glasses while Ronnie nailed a blondie.

"Watch where you tread, fair maiden. Wouldn't want you to get hurt," the one under Ronnie smoothly said as he caressed her face.

She nimbly jumps off him, screaming "PEDOPHILE ALERT! CHILDREN OF OURAN, WE HAVE A PERVERT IN OUR MIDST! RUN FROM HIM!"

The look on the guy's face was priceless; I can tell the stoic boy beneath me is trying to hold back a laugh.

Trying (and failing) to look as good as Ronnie did getting up, I shake my head and mutter, "We really gotta look where we're going..."

The darker haired one stands as well and introduces himself. "I'm Kyoya Ootori, and this is Tamaki Suoh. If I'm correct, you are the transfer students from France. Veronica and Nicole?"

I glance at Ronnie. "It's Ronnie and Nikki, and how the hell do you know this?"

"WE HAVE A PEDOPHILE AND A STALKER HERE! THIS MAN IS A CREEPER! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Ronnie yells, and I sweat drop.

Brushing off my friend, Kyoya continues. "I make it my job to know. Would you two ladies like to join us in Room Three? There's something not so Ouran about you."

"So we've been told. We were actually on our way there. Where's Tamaki though?" Kyoya points to the corner, where Tamaki lies with arrows sticking out of his chest saying "PEDOPHILE" and "PERVERT".

At the sound of his name, Tamaki turns and gives us puppy dog eyes.

"Let's roll, Pedo," Ronnie and I snicker as we run down the hall arm in arm.

We hear a wail from the blonde as we bounce away, and this makes us laugh harder.

Ouran Academy sure was full of interesting personalities and attractive boys.

_**Schwing! Complete! Please review.c:**_

_**-3.1415927**_


	3. Gag Me With A Spoon

_**Hi and thank you for reading if you still are. It means a lot to me.c:**_

_**I've noticed that I keep changing the verbs from present to past tense...sorry! From now on they will be in present tense.**_

Ronnie gets to the double doors of Music Room 3 first. She stands there open-mouthed until I catch up, and the only thing I can do is join her.

"Damn these doors are ornate," she says.

"Thank you captain obvious." We stare a little longer at the intricate designs that swirl from top to bottom of the wooden doors, mesmerized.

We hear footsteps from behind us and don't even bother to turn to see who it is.

"Ladies! Ladies! Wait up!" The Hitachiin's yell, as Ronnie and I stifle giggles. From the other direction comes Mori and that kid Hunny.

"I think we're missing two..." Ronnie mutters after a few seconds, and sure enough Kyoya and Tamaki appear seemingly out of thin air.

The taller blonde haired boy looks accusingly at the ginger twins. "They're my customers, I called them!"

"We saw them first," Kaoru states.

"So they're ours," his brother finishes.

I shake my head. "Boys, I don't know what you're talking about, but get one thing in your heads right now. We don't belong to anyone."

They react as if that thought never occurred to them. After splitting off into something that resembled a football huddle and having a very heated conversation, they return.

"They're still ours," Hikaru mutters.

"What are you girl's here for anyways?" The little boy, Hunny, inquires with a smile.

"Well, we're-"

Ronnie intervenes before I can finish. "We're aliens from outer space, ooo!" She wiggles her fingers for effect.

"No, we're transfer students, as Kyoya the Creep already knows." He doesn't even bat an eyelash.

"Yes, but why?" He pushes the topic further.

Tamaki jumps into the conversation. "As much as I'd like to know, let's take this little interview inside."

And with a rush of roses, the doors swept open and we were swept into a world of giggling girls and china teacups.

Gag me with a spoon.

**_Please tell me what you think!:*_**

**_-3.1415927_**


	4. Home

_**Whooaa, I made it to chapter four! Thanks to everyone who is reading this, it means a lot.**_

_**I don't own Ouran High School Host Club, but wouldn't it be awesome to possess so many hot guys?**_

As soon as I opened the fancy double doors, rose petals flew out and smacked me and Ronnie in the face.

"What the hell is going on?" She screams as they smother us. I can only manage to cough as I pray that this isn't the way I die. Wouldn't that just be the worst possible way to go?

"Make...it...end!" I manage to choke out. I swat at a few stray petals as Ronnie begins to karate kick them mid-air.

Suddenly, we're lifted off the ground by our collars and plopped down on a couch by Mori with Ronnie squirming the entire way.

"Why would you do that to a person?" I yell.

Kyoya simply laughs at us, saying, "It adds effect. You see, we're what you would call a host club."

I don't have a clue what he's talking about. Apparently, Ronnie does, by the fact that she falls off the couch laughing.

Hikaru and Kaoru sit down unnecessarily close to me as Tamaki is put into a spotlight. "We are handsome young men with too much time on our hands, surrounded by beautiful young women with too much time on their hands. We entertain them with social gatherings and pleasant conversations."

As he was talking, I noticed fancy tables and chairs surrounded us. There was a teapot for each table and a doily for each teapot. "Wooow, overkill much," I hiss to Ronnie, who is still in hysterics.

When she finally composes herself, Veronica shoves Kaoru to the side and sits beside me. "What he means is it's like prostitution without the sex."

Tamaki gapes at her, saying, "I am NOT a prostitute! I'm a prince entertaining princesses, a lord keeping company with his ladies, a gentleman at his best!"

"Sounds like he's a hooker to me," I comment. The twins are practically gasping for air at this point, shouting "Prostitute! Prostitute! Our king is a prostitute!"

Kyoya brings us back to the subject, saying, "So, why did you girls move from France to Japan? That's quite the jump."

"You can say that again. I miss my corner cafe, and the fresh air, and especially my dog. I went everywhere with Sparks, but I heard you can't take them anywhere in Japan so I left him at home." Glasses scribbles something in his suspicious black notebook as I talk.

"Home," Ronnie says softly. "I guess that's here now."

"Why is here your new home?" Hunny questions, clutching a stuffed bunny.

I sigh. "It's a long story, and kind of a sad one. One that I'd like to leave behind."

Ronnie nudges me. "Maybe you should tell them, though. They have been nicer to us than any of the snobs here."

She had a point, so I begin my tale. "My mom left me with my dad when I wasn't a year old, and my dad is a very wealthy businessman. He hardly had time for a baby, but imagine the bad publicity that would come from putting a child up for adoption." I say the last bit about my father sarcastically. "Ronnie's parents died when she was young. She lived next door, and we used to get into all kinds of trouble. It got worse and worse as we got older."

"I think the most awful thing we ever did was hijack a professor's car and drive it into a nearby pond. Or maybe that time we stole a couple laptop's and gave them away, just because we could, or the time got in that fight between two gang's and practically won it for the one side, or-" I cut Ronnie off.

"They get the point. Long story short, we did a lot of shit, but one time we pushed it too far. And we got caught. And now we're here, living by ourselves. Like we've always done, but now there are no rules."

The entire time, the host club had been staring at us, speechless. I knew we shouldn't have told them. They think we're scary, or stupid, or whatever.

These thoughts fly through my mind until Mori places a strong hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry for what you've gone through."

I look up at him and smile, thankful for his rock-like steadiness. The twins converge on Ronnie, hugging and wiggling on her.

"They're eating my soul! Ahh! I'm too young do die! Stop!" She screeches, but they ignore her.

Kyoya finishes writing in his notebook and pushes his glasses up his nose. "Sounds like you need some friends. If need be, you can hang out here after school."

"What could he be planning? He's never just nice to be nice..." I hear Tamaki ramble, but I ignore him.

I turn my eyes away and scan the room again. After a few seconds, I say, "Just one question. Who's the brown haired girl in the corner?"

**_If you liked it, tell me why. Review!_**

**_-3.1415927_**


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